On sibling closeness.
Some of you may know, that I don’t really come from a very close-knitted family. Or at least, that’s how I would describe my relationship with my elder sister, independent of my parents.
Some of my friends have sort of “criticized” me for always saying bad things about my sis, but the thing is, I cannot really help it. She pisses me off – or rather, she gets pissed off with me first at the littlest of things, and by extension, I get pissed off too, for her getting pissed off for no apparent reason.
The other thing about some of these friends, are that they come from (or at least, by their own admission), pretty close-knitted families. Often I hear stories from a certain friend who describes her interesting family relationship with her younger brother and sister, and how the three of them can essentially “go crazy” in their home. My girlfriend probably falls into this category of having a pretty close-knitted family as well – with good sibling relationships and all that.
Of course, the objective of this post is not to propagate my individual feelings and thoughts – but really to hypothesize from, as usual, the academic perspective of things.
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Empirically, most of the people I know with close-knitted sibling relationships are, or have, eldest siblings who are the “noise creators” – the people who drive the atmosphere around the house. This is in contrast to my own family, where there is a noted absence of a “driver” – or rather, the only “driver” that exists instead drives me crazy.
I think it is reasonable to hypothesize that for siblings within a same home to be essentially closed-knitted (by any standards), there must be the existence of one eldest sibling who is willing to put in the effort to liven things up around the house. That is, the more willing the eldest sibling is willing to go out of his or her way to liven things up, the closer the siblings will be.
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The test: I contemplated whether or not to do this for a while, but I guess it would be fun, even if not many people respond.
Post a comment reply, if you may, on the following (only people with at least one sibling may apply):
1. Are you male or female?
2. Number and type of sibling? (For example, one younger brother; two older sisters)
3. Do you think your family is close-knitted?
4. Is your eldest sibling a “driver”? If you are the eldest, do you think you are a “driver”?
Anonymity is allowed – key in a fake email address.
It will be fun to take a look at the results. 
Hi friend
I am blessed with a close-knitted family, but I would also say that I am (in a way) fortunate to have a somehow-problematic extended family – because the latter has taught me much about how to view family issues in a more complex manner.
My theory is, family members are essentially a bunch of really random shapes being brought together. Being a family, they have to fit into each other, cut away pieces of their own shapes (compromise) while at the same time sticking other pieces to other places (to make up for each other). It’s simply a very messy jigsaw puzzle game that doesn’t really get completed.
And sometimes, the stuff that you have to cut off from your own shape…is simply too much by one’s standards. That’s when accomodating each other becomes too much of a compromise and family members simply do not get along well.
Hence, it gradually came to my realisation that it was never “compulsory” for a family to be close-knitted – many people do try hard to get the family together and they are obviously not unfeeling souls. Sometimes, it’s simply a case of a bad combination of people being placed together.
If I say this to some of my friends who come from (amazingly) close families, they would probably protest violently. I often have the urge to let them know that if you look beyond a happy family, there are often many more issues than you think. Somtimes I even wonder if being related by blood actually matters that much.
Now to answer your questions:
1. Gender: female
2. Siblings: one older brother
3. Close-knitted family: (Yes) I would think so.
4. “Driver” present?: yes, if you would include guiding me to be a destructive child
Interesting point about the driver. It’s very true. I come from a family of 5 kids. The fun was from those who were the “driver”
1. Are you male or female? Female
2. Number and type of sibling? (For example, one younger brother; two older sisters) Eldest sister, brother, Brother, (me and) young sis
3. Do you think your family is close-knitted? No.
4. Is your eldest sibling a “driver”? If you are the eldest, do you think you are a “driver”? When we were younger yes the eldest and the youngest were the “driver.” They got the most attention.