Hopes and dreams: Stories about teaching (#3).

T minus one – The day before the promotional examinations.

After a slew of consultation sessions, I asked a colleague and senior, K, about how it was like facing D-Day, when the students finally get sent off into the exam hall after months of preparation – or for some, the lack thereof.

You see, it’s my first time.

My mum used to say that the examination results are like her report card – they speak volumes of her contribution to the development of the children under her charge. Of course, that’s something deserving if you produce a class full of A-graders year after year, no matter the school nor class. To that end, I actually respect (and envy) my mum a lot. But, notwithstanding (and not to downplay her achievements), teaching an ‘A’ Level subject is unfortunately vastly different from teaching at the Primary level.

Variables, I would say.

Too many of them.

Yet it’s still with anticipation that I look forward to the coming of tomorrow, along with a tinge of nervousness, a little bit of worry, and a bundle of hope.

Hopes and dreams, hopes and dreams.

I don’t think any of my students – or students, in general – realize the amount of hope and unfaltering believe that I place upon them. If there was one constant that I would bring across my varying batches of students, that would be it.

Believe.

***

In a way, I cannot wait for tomorrow to come, and I cannot wait for the marking to be over. I cannot wait for the day when I can clench my fists and punch the air in jubilation at their results, and give these little seventeen (and some eighteen year-olds) a solid pat on the back. And perhaps, by some acrobatic means or other, my own back, too.

***

Disappointment is a facet of life, but till then, I remain optimistic.

They know it, too. I’ve told them countless times – I will never give up on you, till you do so on yourself.

For the person that they will disappoint the most is not me, but themselves.

***

Believe is a strong word. It’s also a beautiful word – from it stems the next most important word – motivation. Sometimes it feels as if my primary role was not the educator, but instead, some sort of cheerleader, motivational coach, whatever. If anything, the governing principle behind all the endless content-driven lessons was the ultimate believe that yes, you can do much better than you even think you can.

And it is also with believe that enabled me to keep going, to keep pushing on, to keep pitching the lessons at a higher level, to keep running the classes at a faster pace. And many of them love it.

If you ask me, one of the primary stumbling blocks to learning is the educator thinking that his or her students are limited in potential. No, our kids can’t do that is but a sorry excuse for not trying. It is a fallacy to assume that students do not have a thirst for learning – most of them do. Most.

I love their reactions when I always go in class, “Those people at RJC learn this anyway, so should we. We’re not about to lose to them, right?”

I get sniggers, some snide smiling to their classmates, a little bit of eye rolls, and then full concentration.

It’s amazing how competition – and confidence in abilities – can go a really long way.

***

Tomorrow is the manifestation of my believe.

Unfortunately, some may not make it – and that is but a facet of life. Yet I remain hopeful.

I remain hopeful not because of what I have done, but because of what they will be doing, because of the fact that they know they will only be disappointing themselves should they fail, because of the fact that I believe in them, and because that believe is unfaltering, undying, unwavering.

They won’t be reading this – but as if my actions haven’t spoken for themselves – all the best, dear kids.

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